Brewing the Basics: The Basics (how meta!?)

Starting a new series of posts - here's the 411 (yeah, I still say that)

Photo by Mike Kenneally on Unsplash

Hey there,

Alright, I’m sick of procrastinating because I don’t know how to start this message … so here it goes: hi. It’s been 6 months since my last edition. I’m still alive.

The last 6 months have been some of my life's happiest and saddest times - a rollercoaster that I finally feel like I’ve gotten off of.

Here’s a list of the interesting events in the past 6 months:

• I met someone who is also childfree by choice 😉

• I lived in (and owned) a 39-foot-long RV for a month

• I got a new car - which is almost identical to my last car (which was partially intentional, #TeamSubaru)

• I became a gun owner (still liberal, still queer - never fear)

• I hit rock bottom emotionally, taking an emergency week off of work & lost nearly 20 pounds

• I started seeing a new therapist, using CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) & EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing) as treatments for long-standing issues that were keeping me from a healthy relationship with myself & others, including my C-PTSD.

• I began taking medication again (Lexpro, for the curious)

• I found out there’s a 95% chance that I have ADHD (which explains so f*cking much)

• I left Instagram

• I began taking THC & CBD regularly to help me physically, mentally, and emotionally

• I moved to a small town & rented an apartment

I also used writing to process a lot of my emotions & past experiences; ate some spectacular food; had some fantastic new experiences; and most importantly, dusted off a part of myself that I thought was dead & gone.

Here’s a list of things I DID NOT do in the past 6 months:

• Write publicly

• Write my memoir

• Read books

But now, I’m beginning to do all three again, because I feel like I’m finally my full Self again, freshly steeped & thirsty for more. (Expect more details & stories from the last 6 months in upcoming editions!).

And, on that note, let’s talk about Brewing the Basics …

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I’ve been a profitable entrepreneur for over 20 years.

I’ve been a queer (pansexual) female human for nearly 40 years.

There’s a lot that I could share about business, systems, processes, finding clients, relationships, moving, traveling, divorce, self-esteem, self-worth, depression, anxiety, imposter syndrome … but none of that matters.

None of that matters if your Basics are bullshit.

The Basics (capitalized for the respect they deserve) are the things you do out of habit, or basic human necessity, that rarely get much of your attention. Some of us call it “operating on auto-pilot.”

And let me tell you what, I got really good at operating on auto-pilot. I was an efficient QUEEN!

Family, friendships, my (former) marriage, my business, my employee role, my health … all of it was run on auto-pilot. I found a system that worked and stuck to it.

Until I realized that the system I had set up to run my entire life was rapidly taking me in a direction that I vehemently DID. NOT. WANT.

Sure, it helped me send people “Happy Birthday” messages right on time & helped me gain 20 pounds of muscle, but when I looked in the mirror, all I could see was a two-dimensional view of myself. Flat. Unmotivated. On the verge of creating a life she abhorred.

Y’all, I policed my own digestion like I was on Reno 911.

I was the type of adult that all companies yearned to reach: obsessed with organization & efficiency, ready to pay/sacrifice ANYTHING to feel a little bit more control over my own life while trying to conform to what society told us adult life should look like.

As I took the big girl steps of getting a divorce and beginning to alter the entire format of my life, I felt ALIVE again. I slowly discovered parts of myself from childhood that I thought would never see the light again. I opened myself to new experiences I had previously shunned (I now own 2 guns & know how to use them, clean them, and fix them, for example).

I felt like the world was my THC-infused brownie … until it wasn’t.

In May 2023, as the first wedding anniversary of my former marriage came into view, I lost all composure.

I had to take emergency leave from work.

I began crying hysterically at random moments throughout the day, as the trauma I’d suppressed for over 3 decades came to the surface.

I began taking THC gummies multiple times a day to stimulate my appetite & thirst or I wouldn’t eat or drink anything.

Whenever it felt like my entire body & mind were going to overwhelmingly explode, I’d write and write and write. Page after page of writing out old trauma and, in turn, re-writing the story from a healthier perspective, learning the lessons to finally release it from its grip on my existence.

And even though I was going through one of the most difficult chapters in my life, it also felt right. I knew this needed to happen. I felt a little bit more like my true Self every day - through all the tears and gummies and calorie counting.

During that time off work, and as I progressively returned, the Basics were no longer Basics - they were a priority, they were survival. I used my experience with data to my advantage. I tracked my calories, hydration, steps taken … etc. I watched as I progressively improved, day by day. I watched as the 20 pounds that I had rapidly lost & the curves I missed having come back with each passing week.

I had to rebuild myself from the ground up - mentally, emotionally, physically.

And the Basics were the foundation of it all.

The mental and physical buzz of the perpetual anxiety that I used to live with drifted away for the first time in decades.

I had forgotten what it felt like to wake up and not have any demands on your time at all. In the past, even on vacations, I was working out daily & working on one of my businesses, or trying to make connections during my brief time in town.

Life had become a game of “How much more can I get?” Instead of “How much more do I need, or even want?”

Now that I lived on my own, my life was more my own than ever. From what I ate to my hobbies to my work schedule to the movies I watched … it was all up to me. I could literally rebuild myself & my life into anything I wanted, with the right Basics.

And that’s where Brewing the Basics comes in …

I’ve always been interested in bringing more attention to the things that we overlook in everyday life … I never imagined that my life was going to FORCE me to experience just how powerful that can be.

So Brewing the Basics is all about reconsidering our most basic choices in our lives. I’m not here to force you to change or push what works for me onto you - this is about simply taking the time to SLOW DOWN and BE PRESENT when you do the everyday things that make up who you truly are, and ask yourself, “Is this working for me now?”

Pulling perspectives from everything from science fiction and popular entertainment to philosophy and Mother Nature, Brewing the Basics is all about changing your perspective, honing in on details you have come to tolerate but rarely fully consider (without becoming a monk living in a cave … though that does have some appeal).

I hope you’re as excited about Brewing the Basics as I am 🤩

Stay tuned for the first post in the Brewing the Basics series … and thanks for sticking around. I missed you. And you look fabulous.

Gratefully,

VK

P.S. Comment + let me know what’s the most interesting thing that’s happened to you/with you/because of you in 2023 (so far)!