A full-circle life lesson from a fighting anime 👊

... and 4 freshly brewed book reviews

Hi there,

I hope you’re ready for a fun edition that blends anime + life lessons … ready?

Whether or not you’re an anime-watcher, this is for you.

There is an anime called Dragon Ball (known in the USA as Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z - but in Japan, both of those series are collectively known as Dragon Ball), which first premiered in February 1986 … and it’s still going.

I’m not going to give you a massive summary, but for the purpose of today’s topic, let’s focus on two of the main characters: Goku and Vegeta.

Vegeta (left) and Goku (right)

Both Goku and Vegeta are part of a handful of surviving members of a warrior race known as the Saiyans.

Goku grew up on Earth, initially not knowing he was a Saiyan. An older martial artist (Gohan) took him in and raised him in the mountains, giving him a happy and fun childhood.

Vegeta, on the other hand, is the Prince of all Saiyans, having lived through his father being killed, his home planet being destroyed (along with the majority of Saiyans), and being taken in by a tyrant (Frieza) hell-bent on ruling over the entire universe, who used him as his personal conquerer and genocide-causer.

Long story short, two VERY different histories between these two folks.

Early on in the series, Vegeta makes his way to Earth to find Goku, knowing there are very few Saiyans left. His original goal is to recruit Goku to help rule the universe. As you can imagine, Goku has no interest at all.

Over a rollercoaster of intergalactic enemies, fights to the death, and the Earth being blown up (then restored), Goku and Vegeta become friends as well as rivals.

From a strength perspective, Goku has almost always been stronger than Vegeta, achieving greater and greater capabilities throughout the series, always topping anything Vegeta can do, learn … etc.

Vegeta tries to keep up with him but solidly stays #2, always accomplishing what Goku does eventually, but rarely (if ever) before Goku does it.

During the end of the Buu saga, Vegeta acknowledges (to himself, because he would NOT say this out loud) how much he respects Goku. For a guy who is always going on about his pride as a Saiyan, it was a pivotal moment.

Amazing. How do you do it, Kakarot? You’ve always been like this, ever since the day I first met you. Always ready to meet the next challenge, even if its bigger than you are … It was the same on Namek. You had improved so much that it made Recoome look like he was standing still. Your power had increased so dramatically since our battle on Earth that I thought you had done it, that you had become a Super Saiyan.

It tore me apart. How could a low-class solider accomplish so easily what I, I had struggled my whole life to achieve? Then, at last, it happened. I too transformed. After living every moment of every day for the singular purpose of surpassing you, I finally became a Super Saiyan myself. The prince had reclaimed his throne and fulfilled his destiny.

But no matter how strong I became, your power still exceeded mine. At first, I thought it was your loved ones - that it was your instinct to protect them that spurred you on and pushed you beyond your limits. But then I found myself with a family of my own, and my power didn’t increase at all.

I used to fight for the sheer pleasure of it, for the thrill of the hunt. Oh I had the strength unmeasurable. I spared no one. And yet, you showed mercy to everyone, even your fiercest enemies, even me. Yet you never fought to kill or for revenge, only to test your limits and to push yourself beyond them, to become the strongest you could possibly be.

How can a Saiyan fight like that, and at the same time, be so gentle that he wouldn’t hurt a fly? It makes me angry just thinking about it. But, perhaps it is my anger that’s made me blind to the truth for so long. I see it now. This day has made it all too clear. You’re better than me, Kakarot. You are the best.

[Side Note: Kakarot is Goku’s Saiyan birth name, but he didn’t know it when he landed on Earth as a baby, and Gohan named him Goku when he found him]

So, Vegeta’s an angry, emotionally constipated idiot while Goku is a childlike badass - nice summary, right?

Well, you could leave it there, but that’s not the lesson that sparked for me (and also hit a bit too close to home) …

Vegeta gave us a nice overview of what motivated Goku/Kakarot: “you never fought to kill or for revenge, only to test your limits and to push yourself beyond them, to become the strongest you could possibly be.”

And even a bit of insight into his own shortcomings: “perhaps it is my anger that’s made me blind to the truth for so long.”

In other words, Goku is motivated by internal validation, while Vegeta is motivated by external validation.

Photo by Justin Veenema on Unsplash

And as someone who used to be motivated solely by external validation, I can tell you it will never take you very far.

Goku is driven by internal validation: how he feels about his own strength, his own capabilities, and challenging those whenever the chance arises. He doesn’t care about winning the World Martial Arts Tournament or even being praised by the public (he actually lets a human, Mr. Satan, take credit on more than one occasion).

Vegeta is driven by external validation: specifically, by how his strength measures up against Goku - the strongest Saiyan he’s ever met, and who is a perpetually moving target he’s chasing after.

If your sole motivation is external, you will be eternally disappointed and, likely, feel like you’re falling short.

Even if you happen to beat your rival, or win an award they don’t, you may end up being more frustrated by their lack than your own “success.”

Here’s the crux of it: the more external validation you seek, the less you trust yourself and your inherent worth.

While Goku tests himself against others, his opponent is not his barometer - his internal measure of his strength and the progress he has made drives him.

Internal motivation comes from self-worth, self-respect, and a healthy dose of curiosity about yourself and the world.

External motivation is what we are taught in school: grades, interviews, and other people’s opinions are what we should seek and garner to the fullest extent possible, even if it feels like a betrayal to our inherant selves.

Internal motivation is something we must cultivate for ourselves: through the content we consume, the company we keep, and the actions we choose to take.

Your sole purpose for being alive is to be the best YOU you can be, and no one else on this planet (or any other planet) can tell you what that is.

Internal motivation drives us to find the healthiest, most genuine version of ourselves, but this isn’t about “optimizing” ourselves … it’s about living the journey of life as authentic to your inner motivations as possible.

External motivations have their place, and this isn’t to imply that you NEVER need outside help or feedback or guidance - humans are community creatures after all.

But the next time you’re making a decision - ANY decision - pause for an extra 10 seconds and ask yourself, “am I being internally or externally motivated right now? And how could a lean more towards being internally motivated?”

Even if you’re simply choosing what is for dinner, what to watch, or where to go next on vacation, life is short, so try choosing what will light you up the most. 🌟

[If you happen to be a Dragon Ball fan, or would like some background music for your day, here’s a 93-minute compilation of the music from Dragon Ball]

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📚 Refreshing Books Worth Sipping 📚

Leave a comment + let me know if you’ve read any of these books 🤓

Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole by Susan Cain

Whatever pain you can’t get rid of, whatever joy you can’t contain, make it your creative offering.

If there was ever a book that felt like I was reading a manifesto written exactly for me, it’s this book. Having a word, a concept to understand the perpetually happy/content/woeful feeling I have, “bittersweet” is it - and it’s nothing that needs to be changed or discarded, but embraced.

Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids by Meghan Daum

So much of being a grown-up is about managing or quelling desires. For food, for drink, for sex, for good times; if you’re a woman, I maintain, for ambition. You should not want too much. It is strange, then, to be in a position where society demands you should have an appetite for something. And yet here was a rare instance where I was appetite-free, and the world seemed to be saying, “You have to want this thing, if only so that we can help you work through your feelings about not having it!”

This was the first book that I’ve read solely about living a child-free life. While I didn’t deeply connect or even wholely agree with every writer’s perspective, this book is a wonderful example of how wide the variety of reasons that people choose never to have or raise children.

Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet by Thich Nhat Hanh

Whatever is happening, we need to keep our understanding and compassion alive, so we don’t lose ourselves in anger and hatred.

This book contains a multitude of depths to it. At first, I felt the weight of the guilt of the state of the planet, as if I magically could change things overnight. The more I read this book, the more I felt that true change is possible, not only as an individual but as a community, a country, a world … and it all starts at home, inside ourselves (and I’m not talking about recycling more). Whether you are Buddhist-leaning or completely agnostic, there are valuable insights to be had from reading this book.

Life Ceremony: Stories by Sayaka Murata

When you follow beautiful words with nasty ones, pretty much everyone will crow about how you’ve spoken truthfully. And if you do the opposite, they’ll lament that you’re a hypocrite with your lies. Maybe they find it more reassuring that way. They just can’t relax with the idea of truth being lovely.

This is the funkiest collection of short stories I’ve ever read, and I loved it. The small-but-impactful twists to these stories will have you thinking in new ways long after you’re done reading.

Gratefully,

VK

Photo by Zach Lucero on Unsplash