What to do when it's all too f*cking much?
What to do when it's all too f*cking much?
Find some space ... let me show you what that looks like for me
Hi there,
How much do we really know about each other?
No one can truly live in your head, with your memories, fears, hopes, + the glorious imagination you possess.
And while I'm known for my words, the visual world has fascinated me my entire life. It’s not an accident that I was a professional model & actor for a decade. I dreamed of and studied to be a painter as a 6-year-old child.
For the past 20+ years, I’ve also been behind the camera, dabbling in photography.
You see it a lot: a model or actor goes behind the camera. How trite, but I can see why it happens. You can’t help but be curious about how to create the visuals you’re in regularly.
But my interest in photography has nothing to do with capturing people, oddly enough.
My passion for photography came from a childhood desire for people to see the world the way I do.
Words never seemed like enough to capture the vivid intensity of my experience as a human (I bet you can relate).
While no one can ever live in my head, maybe they’ll see or feel something similar to what I do when I show them a photo I took.
Or perhaps it will spark something powerful within them I never planned for - that’s even better 😊
So while I may be Victoria Klein, the Writer & Author, you know that creativity flows with its own power, so I’ve never resisted any other creative world I could explore: modeling, acting, photography, painting, needlepoint, sewing, knitting, cooking, baking, pottery, firearms … the list goes on.
Along with the Brewing the Basics series, I’ll be occasionally (on no specific schedule) posting “Victoria the Photographer” posts like these: some background, some thoughts, and then the photos.
I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoy creating them.
Space is the one thing that I’ve truly had a love/hate relationship with my entire 39 years on planet Earth.
Not “space” as in outer space - I’m talking about physical space, mental space, emotional space. I’m even talking about blank space on your calendar.
On the one hand, space is glorious.
A blank slate.
An opportunity for your mind to wander, to be bored, to be innovative.
Space reconnects you with the most essential parts of yourself, your wants, your needs - apart from your family, your friends, your partner, your society.
The essence of YOU is only found with space.
On the other hand, space is deafening, crushing.
Every single small negative experience you have had can come rushing into your mind at a moment’s notice, nearly causing panic attacks from the intensity of all those emotions getting kicked up at once.
Every single small negative thought you have about yourself and your most important relationships will have you feeling like the biggest fraud and the most worthless piece of shit all at once.
“Don’t worry, they’re going to get sick of you and your burdens and leave. They don’t love you anyway, no one does. You’ll be alone again soon. It hurts more, but it’s all you deserve.”
My mind told me that the day I took these photos. (I made sure to tell myself some compassionate things once my mind stopped its teenager-style bitching.)
We need space. Space to face and embrace all of who we were, who we are now, and who we want to be.
Recently, I had a chance to experience the spaciousness of the Colorado high desert plains on my own. It was a few mere hours, but it shifted so much …
[Note: the following photos are 100% unedited. Normally I tweak any photos that I take - who doesn’t!? - but this was a special moment and the photos didn’t need an ounce of editing in my eyes]
Gratefully,
VK
P.S. If you’d be interested in seeing any of my photography available for prints or products, leave a comment + let me know. I plan to put together an online store as my photography continues to evolve + I’d love to know what you’d be most interested in.